My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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