i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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