She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
