so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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