u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
