meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just blew my weed a kiss
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
