So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
