wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
