i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
