your room smells of hookers.
And success
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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