Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize