i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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