I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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