In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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