go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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