Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize