Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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