...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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