this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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