Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
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Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
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Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize