Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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