Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
