just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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