the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Did I show you my penis last night?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
