dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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