Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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