I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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