this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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