Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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