She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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