google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
