i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
