How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
