I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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