just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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