you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Is Oprah even human
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
