I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
