i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
