are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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