I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
