White coat. Heels.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
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