I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
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This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.