Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me