and she was petting her beer can
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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