theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
