you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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