definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
