I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
