"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
