smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize