Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
