Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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