Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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