I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
