If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
