we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
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Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
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Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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