Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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