Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize