WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
