So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
