what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
