I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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